Juris Mommy 2006 - Blog in review

I saw that Tab posted one of these and I thought it would be a fun change of pace for me today. I didn't start blogging until May, so it starts up there.

January - May
Law school is for suckers. I despise parents who allow their children to hurt my kids at the park. I get a really cool pair of shoes. Erin Dailey is a cool woman. I introduce you to my boys and freak out over final exams. My precious Alias goes off the air and I graduate from law school. Don takes me to see Wicked (he risked divorce if he didn't).

June
My mother-in-law is awesome and pampers me like no one else in the world. I freak the heck out at work because the amazing Catherine Newman leaves a comment on my blog. Crocs are not shoes, people. David Blain is a crazy freak. I am a freak because I am studying for the Bar Exam. Donnie gets sick. I publicly apologise to Steph because I am a moron sometimes.

July
I hate BarBri with the fire of a million bar exam takers. I freak the heck out about the bar. I worry I am a bad Mom. An odd viral marketing scheme catches my attention. My boss wins re-election, thus relieving me of 50% of my stress. I find proof that I am Sydney Bristow. I take the Bar Exam - I hated the Bar Exam.

August
I freak out about whether I passed the Bar Exam. Bringing up Ben and Birdy comes to an end and I am sad for the three days it takes me to discover that Catherine has a new blog and column. Donnie turns 5 and has a better birthday party than I ever did. I return to work. Donnie starts kindergarten and I have a mini breakdown about that. I spend hours putting together a post for a friend to tell her what is playing on Broadway so she doesn't see a lame 20 year old play - and she ends up seeing NOTHING! Stevie is sad about Donnie going into kindergarten. I have my first night out in a million years. Spy Daddy's new show kind of sucks.

September
Much ado over Donnie's fine motor skills. I visit a friend at DragonCon. Bunny Scout Valerie turns three. Idina Menzel returns to Wicked, and the touring company gets a much needed replacement Elphaba. Donnie gets the barfing flu again, and then promptly runs smack into a fellow student and almost breaks his nose. I continue to feel like a failure as a mother as Donnie's evaluations continue. A Nevada attorney shows up to court after a morning of drinking. My friend Nathan's movie opens. I discover that I am still a hottie and Alecia takes the LSAT.

October
Wicked opens in London with Idina Menzel playing Elphie for the last time (only because the producers of the show won't make my dream of a Wicked movie come true. Bastards.) Lost returns for a short while. I discover that some people don't like little boys who are huggers. I get bronchitis for the first of three times this year. Schools in Wyoming and Washington ban Tag from recess. I go to about a million conferences. I completely freak out in the last week before the Bar Exam results. I PASS THE BAR EXAM AND CAN GO ON WITH MY LIFE.

November
We visit the ER again - this time with Stevie. Bloggers/law students all over the country get the news - both good and bad. I go to more conferences. I remember a lost friend. I have a night out with my boys that makes me want to commit elficide. Donnie graduates from speech therapy and we celebrate with Peanut Butter Jelly time. Donnie gets the barfing flu - again. I get bronchitis #2, and Stevie loses 1/2 an eyebrow in a bizarre band aid accident.

December
I discover that being an attorney means I have a lot less time for blogging. That sucks. I get bronchitis for the 3rd time (that is right now, people, I am sparing you a blog about it). I get advice from all of you on cocktail attire (thanks). NORAD Santa Tracker rules. I am a cranky mommy. I have an odd day at work when I am not supposed to be there. I will now and forever have the ability to see the Thestrals.

Thank you to all of you who have become regular visitors and friends. You have all made this blog worth writing. I know it hasn't always been interesting, but it has always been me. Happy New Year.

I won't be myself for a while.

I went to see "Dreamgirls" with a friend last night. I will have to make sure to give my thoughts on that movie at a later time, because that is not what this post is about. I left the movie and started to drive home. My parents had the boys, and I needed to get home as soon as possible.

I was about 10 minutes from my house when I saw a teen aged boy dart into the street in front of the truck ahead of me. He had no time to stop. I slammed on my brakes and thankfully avoided hitting the truck, but nothing could save the boy. He died while I held his hand and the other driver dialed 911.

I am writing about this right now because I don't want to talk about it. I don't really want to write about it, either. At least this way the story is out there and anyone who asks me about it can be directed to my blog.

Tales from work when you aren't supposed to be there.

Today is my floating holiday at work. You get your birthday or another day of your choosing off. I chose today because Donnie and Stevie are both out of school. Something came up and I had to come into the office and wait for a phone call and then I can leave. The woman is taking her sweet time about it, so whenever something strange happens I am going to blog about it.

1. I got on the elevator and whoever had been on it before me was wearing the cologne my high school boyfriend wore. I can only hope that he is a defendant. I got off the elevator and saw my trial partner walking down the hall. I have never known him to wear cologne, let's hope he hasn't started with that one.

2. While driving home I saw a brand new truck with this bumper sticker on it. You could tell the owner had tried to scrape it off. Clearly an angry parker had slapped it on in a parking lot. I shouldn't laugh at the destruction of property, but after spending years trying to find parking in the city (and suburban mall parking lots) -- HEE!

How many minutes does it take to become "Cranky Mommy"?

I don't know the answer to that question. Sometimes it takes less than one minute, sometimes I go all the way until I announce to the kids that it is time for bed. But it always comes. The overwhelming feeling of crankiness that comes when the kids just. won't. do. what. I. say.

"Do what Mommy says the first time." Don and I are constantly telling the kids that. Just do it the first time Mommy asks you to, that way she won't get cranky. Maybe it is because I argue for a living, but more probable it is because I have lived the last four years in such a rushed panic that my brain doesn't think it can manage even one wasted second.


If you do it the first time I ask then I will be able to stay on the schedule that I keep in my head. It isn't fair, really. I read other blogs where parents spend paragraphs talking about how wonderful their children are. Then I look back at my blog and begin to wonder when was the last time I wrote about the boys? It has been a while.


I need to find a way to stop becoming Cranky Mommy. My boys are beautiful little lambs. They have great manners and they love to cuddle. They make up stories and songs. Most of all, they love me. The devour every bit of attention I pay them, whether I am cranky or not.


It is time for me to find a way to pack Cranky Mommy away with all of the Christmas decorations. I want to put her away because I don't like her. To my fellow mommy/bloggers out there - how do you do it? How do you keep the cranky away so that you can enjoy the kids?

MERRY CHRISTMAS,
my dear blogging family.

Now, go hug someone!

Where's Santa?

Donnie started asking at about 11:30 this morning when Santa would come with his presents. I think he thought he was just going to ring the doorbell. I took him to the computer to look at the NORAD Santa Tracker website. We talked about where Santa is right now, and then we noticed a phone number. 1-877-HI-NORAD

We called the phone number and a real person answered the phone! Donnie talked to her for a few minutes about where Santa was at that time (Bombay, India) and then hung up the phone. It was very cool.

So give the kids a treat this year, especially if they are getting to the age where they can't hear the bell anymore. Give NORAD a call.

I wore the black one.

I brought in all of the dresses I own and showed them to the other women I work with. I put on the black one first and was told that I had to wear it. The one part I really worried about was the cleavage. When I modeled the dress for one person, her first response was "man, your boobs are enormous." Hrm. Not exactly the response I was going for when I was about to be surrounded by every defense lawyer in town. I tried to pin the neckline so that less cleavage showed, but in the end she was right. They are enormous, and no amount of pinning was going to hide the cleavage I had.

Apparently I forgot to show them the dress from the back, because right before my ride picked me up I caught a look at my back in the mirror. Horror. Shock. Terror. My bra peeked out the back of the dress. My only options at this point were not to go, or wear a wrap all night long. I hated the idea because it ruins the silhouette. How can you tell that I have a small waist if there is a wrap hanging in front of it? Who cares, the horror of the visible bra overshadows all. I wore the wrap. All. Night. Long.

The event wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. There was no dancing, just cocktails and dinner. Bossman and his wife introduced me to everyone who was considered politically important. Those of us who are new to town sat at what we dubbed "the kiddy table." The evening ended with some of the old timers getting together and sharing war stories. The rest of us sat and listened. This is a small southern town, and it was like watching a movie about old southern lawyers. These men were all characters you have seen in the movies. They said things like, "she was sneakin' out ta have relations with an older man" "it ruint her" and other assorted southernisms. It was an overall enjoyable evening, and I am so thankfull to Bossman and his wife for shepherding Don and I through it.

I don't have any pictures of me in the dress, we didn't have our camera and it seemed that no one else did, either. Thank you to all of you for the suggestions on which dress to wear. I wish I had been able to take Tab's suggestion and buy a dress, but it just wasn't in the cards this year.

Rules for the cocktail dress

I am going to the local Bar Association Christmas party tonight. According to Bossman's wife, the dress is cocktail. Here is the problem. I have a beautiful black cocktail dress. It looked great on me right after I have birth to Stevie - before the 3rd year of law school/Bar Exam weight came. Now it looks just OK. It is knee lenghth, black, chiffon with wide straps. I also have a long navy dress with chiffon on bottom and velvet on top. I usually shun velvet, but this dress has short sleeves. This is a selling point to me because it hides at least some part of my arms.

Can you wear a long dress to a cocktail dress event? Why can't I find control top pantyhose? Why did I get a zit in the center of my left cheeck two days before this event?

Below you will find pictures that pretty much look like both dresses. Let me know what you think.

Stop by and stay a while.

Tomorrow I have a big motion to suppress hearing. It isn't big because it is a big case, or because the legal issues are complicated. It is big because it is actually happening. Most of the time these motions get filed and then withdrawn, or the 4th amendment violation is so clear that I don't oppose the motion. That isn't the case this time. I actually have to litigate tomorrow.

It's not a big deal. If I didn't want to litigate I would never have become a litigator. It does, however, explain why there have been no stories about how (insert adjective here) my kids are.

I will be on Lexis all night long doing research. Drop me a comment if you happen by the blog tonight. I'll be here all night.

P.S. Okay, one cute story. Lately when we come home from errands or school, after about 10 minutes of shrugging off coats and changing into comfy clothes, Stevie has started a new tradition. He walks up to me, grabs my face between his little palms and says, "it's good to be home, Mommy." For some reason it reminds me of Wilfred Brimley and those oatmeal commercials he used to do. Except he has the sweetest little high pitched voice it melts me every time. Then he gives me a big kiss and hug and RUNS away to play with something.

Dear blogging family,

Forgive me. It has been so long. Don has worked late every night this week, and I have fallen into bed exhausted as soon as I put the boys to bed. I have had so much to say this week, and no energy to do it. So many things have occurred that I have wanted tell you about - hoping that you would provide some sound advice or at least a shoulder. That will have to wait a little while longer, I promised the boys that I would finally put up the Christmas tree this morning.

Still sick.

It has been one week and I am still sick. Worse, in fact, than I was last Sunday when I brought it to your attention. I lost my voice for much of last week. (Insert your own lawyer joke here)

I am told that my bronchitus is coming back, and it is good that I started fighting it within 4 days instead of 4 weeks - like last time.

I would also like to publicly tell Jennifer that she did not get me sick. It isn't your fault, please stop feeling bad about it. It isn't even Steph's fault for giving it to me the first time.

The fault lies with me, I should take better care of myself.