All Grown Up

The boys have started watching this show, "All Grown Up". If you haven't seen the show, it is about those babies who used to be called "The Rugrats". Now they are tweens, and my kids think they are the greatest thing ever.

For some reason, this switch from baby cartoons to more mature shows has reminded me that my husband and I are grown ups now, too. We had our weekly lunch together this week and I broached a big subject. We need a will.

We should have had one years ago. We have a 10 year old and a 7 year old for goodness sake! We both understand the legal implications of not having a will. We can both even anticipate the kind of family fight that would occur if something happened to us and we both died without one.

I decided at lunch today that it was time to have one of those grown up conversations. I came into it just knowing that Don wouldn't want to talk about it because it is such a morbid subject. Death. Money. Custody. Estates. Benefactors. Guardians. Executors. They just aren't the kind of subjects you want to discuss during the only time you get to spend one-on-one during the week. We both kind of feel like we are still teenagers, so this grown up think is hard to take. Eleven years of marriage and two kids later, we still kind of feel like we are pretending at this adult thing.

He looked so happy. Sitting in the booth at IHOP, eating his blueberry pancakes. He had no idea that I was thinking such morbid thoughts. I took a deep breath, interrupted my very important point about why the new companion on "Doctor Who" just isn't doing it for me and spit it out.

"We need a will."
"I know."
"I know, but we really need one."
"You are right."
"We need one now."
"Yes."

It was that simple. The conversation just flowed. Suddenly, we weren't the kids we always pretend to be. We were the grown ups. We were having a grown up conversation. One that didn't involve work! We made choices and decisions. You know what? It wasn't so bad. At that moment being a grown up wasn't so bad.

Sure, the conversations that lead to the final document are going to be difficult. Who gets the boys? Who sells the house? Where does that money go? The point is that for the fist time, we are both ready to have the conversation. For the first time, there is nothing more pressing in the way. No more law school. The Bar Exam is so far behind me that I no longer break out in a cold sweat when I think about it. We are both lucky enough to have jobs. We have a home. This is it. This is the next grown up step.

And I made it wearing really cute shoes.

So maybe I am not ALL grown up. But I am getting there. It isn't as bad as I thought.